Friday, April 29, 2011

I'm Not Dead

I have a feeling this isn't totally normal but I really like being alone. I like doing things on my own, at my pace, the way I like them. I can be a bit bossy and controlling (less so with the addition of Zoloft to my life) and I can be a pain in the ass to do things with. In school whenever we had group projects I would take over and do the entire thing because I wanted it to be perfect. I'm impatient and while I've gotten better at not just snatching away all the materials and doing something myself it can be a challenge.

The one thing that allows me to be both alone and work on my 'being okay with it not being perfect' skills is painting. I go through phases where I don't paint for months and then all of a sudden something inside me decides to break out the brushes and I feel right again. It's calming. I like the look of a brush stroke so I tend to be more okay with them being where they shouldn't. Sort of like puppies.

I've been kind of MIA from the internet this week. I needed some time to be alone and to paint. I needed some quiet evenings full of bright colors. I have things to show and tell you but for this week I'm just going to not. I'm enjoying this little vacation. I'll be back Monday with clothes and craft projects and adventures.

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