A Chocolate-less Home

I moved around a lot growing up. You'd think that the whole leaving people/people leaving thing would get easier but it never does. Yesterday Lana moved back to Philly. It was a hard day for me. I had an amazing friend who had so many similar interests to mine yet was different enough to be constantly opening my eyes to new wonderful pieces of life. And the most awesome part was living three blocks from each other. Late at night when one of us was bored or sad or wanted out of our houses all it took was a quick text and a few minutes walk and things were fun again.

We spent her last days in Portland doing all the things you don't do when you live in a city because they're always there. One of those things being a tour of cupcake bakeries. Even though the last week she was here I always had in my mind the number of days until she would be gone we somehow still managed to have fun and not be sad until the very last day.

I'm not going to say I lost a friend because I don't think I did. Our friendship has changed but it's not gone. And I am truly glad that she's in a place that makes her so happy now.

This is going to sound weird, there's no way to make it not, but in some ways I'm thankful for the experience of her leaving. I would take her back here in a heartbeat but for the first time in my life someone has left and I don't feel like my entire world is ending. I don't feel like I want to close up and not talk to people again. I mean, okay, for a minute there when this became real yeah, I did feel like "Why is this happening AGAIN?" but I realized yesterday that this is okay. And knowing that I can now handle something like this without falling apart is so invaluable. I feel like all that time spent sitting in that giant leather chair in my therapist's office actually produced something.

I have to give Lana some credit though because even though I never mentioned it to her my biggest fear about her leaving was that she would end up back with all the people who love her and fill up her life and there would no longer be any room for me. I think it's a testament to how close we are that she knew how much that was weighing on me without one word uttered. I won't get into the mushy details but she wrote me a letter and in it addressed that fear of mine. And I love her so much for just knowing that that's what I needed, and for helping to make this huge change in my life seem not so daunting. I'm going to miss you Miss Lana.

There Will Be No Pillow Fights

Well, it's official. Lana is moving back to Philly. I'm going to miss her terribly but lucky for me today is her last day in her apartment and she doesn't actually leave until next week. Know what that means?

Lana and Lauren sleepover extravaganza!!

Welcome Home

Today is moving day. And it's almost over. I woke up at six this morning to do more last minute packing and drop Javi off at his new home. Where he proceeded to have not at all the reaction I predicted. I thought he would love having a new more spacious home and the chance to explore new territory but instead he collapsed on the floor of my new closet in a meowing heap obviously thirsty yet refusing to drink. It broke my heart but I had to leave him after a half hour to go to work. I text Craig about my cat worry and how I was pretty sure he was going to meow the whole day and not drink anything and escape from the apartment never to be found again. He was extremely unsympathetic. Sort of the way he is when I tell him I'm itchy which definitely means I have cancer.

At noon I left work to scramble pack (yes, I was still not finished) and meet the movers. I'm just going to throw it out there that if you ever have to move you should hire movers. Without a doubt. Those guys are fast and you literally don't have to carry a single box. The other day Craig and I were talking about things we would rather do than move (sans moving company) and he threw out there he would rather take finals. I said I would rather be bitten by a snake. Or have surgery.

So anyways, I'm sitting on the floor in my new place while these guys bring things in. And I'm feeling really happy. I love this space, the actual having more square footage but also just the way this home feels. Even filled with boxes.

And here it is.

This is my kitchen. With enough room for a table!




My living room with bunches of light and space and a great nighttime view of the city. I can see Mt. Hood as well.


Bedroom...


This is my new closet. It is the biggest closet I have ever owned and I'm probably more excited about this than you know, having a living room. It's "L" shaped so these photos show two different sections of the closet.



I have a bathroom. It's cute.


This is my hall that is gigantic.


I've had six parking spaces reserved just for my moving today (three at each building). There were permits involved. I'm not even going to pretend it doesn't make me feel special.

Feeling Inspired

Tomorrow is moving day! I went to bed at 2am after spending the evening packing, having a meltdown about packing, then packing some more. Luckily this girl has good friends, including one lovely lady who remained calm while I was stressing about piles of magazines and shoes (I know, I know, ridiculous) and offered to come help me pack this evening. But, even after going to bed at 2am I woke up on my own at 5am. Because I was that excited that it's the day before moving day!

My apartment is a disaster right now and it's throwing me off. I don't really handle piles of boxes and not knowing where anything is very well. Also, even though I've moved a billion times I don't have my packing method perfected. I started packing my closet by just starting packing. There was no rhyme or reason. And now getting dressed is difficult. None of this really matters though because tomorrow I get to sleep in my new, full of light apartment. And I don't even have to move a single box myself. In celebration of this, and because for some reason it just seems appropriate, today I am going to post bunches of photos from my home inspiration folder. They make me happy so hopefully they do the same for you.

Clicking on an image will enlarge it.

My least favorite thing ever.

I hate packing. A lot. This will be the 12th time I've moved and I know to some that's rookie territory but it's about 10 times too many for me. I've decided to make things somewhat easier on myself by hiring a moving company. Which means all I have to do is pack and then tell people what to do (which happens to be one of my favorite things). But I still have to pack. And that makes me whiny.

Luckily, one of us seems to be quite relaxed about the whole thing.

Home Sweet Home

Guess who has a new home...

And by "home" I mean place to live, not an actual house. I signed my lease papers this weekend and will get keys on December 1st. I cannot wait to have an actual separated bedroom and living room and a kitchen where more than one person can cook without being crowded. I'm also pretty excited about hardwood floors, the most giant closet ever (with the exception of one, Miss Mariah Carey's), two whole walls of windows, and a view to die for. Not to mention the incredible location.

I've never really decorated a home, another thing I'm way excited for. My current place was sort of a victim of circumstance in that I originally didn't have the money to be putting into decorating and then, once I did, I didn't want to put too much into what I knew was really temporary. I mean, there are some things I did and love that will definitely carry on to this new place. Now though, I can't wait to pick rugs and furniture that I'll plan to have for awhile. Things that have character. And I'm so looking forward to both creating and buying artwork for the walls and going fabric shopping for curtains and just really making this place a home. My home. I want someone to walk in and feel like the place I live is me and that somehow they're experiencing something intimate in being there. Like learning someone's secrets but feeling so endeared to that person you don't have any desire to reveal them.