Time for Another Round of "I'm sorry you found my blog when you were actually looking for..."

I'm pretty sure I will never stop thinking that the random search terms leading to my blog are funny. Here are a few of my recent favorites.

West Highland Terriers
Okay, so yeah, I mentioned I wanted a West Highland Terrier. Once. I'm not even going to check and see how far down the list this here site is when you are Googling for Westies because I'm pretty positive it will be on page 8,000 of the search results.

I wouldn't stop here
I'm sure this led here because of the post about Kevin that I titled "But I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to stay..." Which is fine, that makes sense. But what I'm really intrigued by is what they were actually looking for. Where would you not stop?!

coloring page cat got wet
I sort of feel bad for this person because I'm imagining a child with a soaked coloring book and his partially colored picture of a cat looking for some kind of rescue solution for his work of art. And he finds this. 800 photos of Javier.

midget clothing/midget clothes
Okay, this by far gives me the most guilt. I once titled a post something like "Clothes for Little People (not midgets)" It was about a line of children's clothing that I thought was really cute and now I keep seeing that people are finding my blog by looking for midget clothing and it almost makes me want to actually write a post of clothing for little people, this time not children, so that when they end up here they don't just end up pissed off at me. Except if I Googled it I'd obviously just find my own blog.

pirate purse
People are always finding my blog by looking for pirate purses. I know they end up here because of the Marc Jacobs Miss Marc Pirate Mabel Tote but seriously, why are so many people looking for pirate purses year round? When I posted it it was the end of August so for awhile I figured there were just some people really eager to celebrate Halloween but this has continued to be a top search term. It makes me a little uneasy.

will smith
I feel sort of bad for Will Smith that someone was actually interested in things about him and they ended up seeing what I did for 4th of July.

tiger dogs
People are like, really into searching for tiger dogs. This is one of the few I don't feel bad about though because if you're seriously thinking about dying your pet to look like a different pet then you deserve to end up confused and lost in the internet.

west highlandi terjer
Ha.

Talib Kweli, I Love You

It took me a couple listens to even notice this but now I can't stop laughing at it.

Some background:


And, the song Tater Tot off Talib Kweli's Gutter Rainbows album.

A Month of Photos: Days 7 & 8

Yesterday I spent the whole day being supremely unproductive and it was wonderful so I didn't end up posting my photo for the day. Which means you get two (and really it's three) today!

Day seven was supposed to be a photo that shows the real you. I guess to me that means something vulnerable. I have four tattoos but the ones that have the most significance to me are the ones on my wrists. One says 'live' and the other says 'heal.' I got the one that says live during a time in my life where I felt really stagnant. I think to some tattooing the word live on your wrist would be a reminder to do big things and take risks but for me it's more about doing things that challenge me but also being sure to work towards bettering my life and creating the way I want to live. It's a reminder to not be reckless.

When I got the word heal tattooed on me I was feeling a lot of hurt from a few things going on in my life and I needed a reminder to move on and get better and to grow from those things rather than dwell in them. I wanted to remember to learn from life rather than be brought down by it.

Both are in white ink so while they're out there for everyone to see few people actually notice them and it makes me feel as if I'm carrying around a secret. In a good way.




Day eight is "a picture that makes you laugh." So here it is.



UPDATE: These are what the tattoos look like today. Literally.

Portlandia

Someone just sent me a link to this. I'm pretty sure it's going to inspire a weekly viewing party. I already have the DVR set.

I feel a lot of people who end up here are going to be disappointed...

One of the things that's most fun about keeping track of your site stats is seeing how people find your blog. These are some of my recent favorites.

1. "pirate purse"

This one I get. I did post a pretty awesome pirate purse (you can see it here is you missed it the first time). I'm going to guess though that with Halloween having just passed that people were searching for something more along the lines of this than a Marc bag.

2. "beach locker-room"

I don't think I even understand what this is let alone how it led someone to my blog.

Aaaand, after Googling, someone was clearly looking for hidden camera porn of some kind. I hope you enjoyed all the things here that are not even remotely that.

3. "cat pumpkins carvings"

First of all, more than one person searched for this and made both 'pumpkin' and 'carving' plural. Second of all, I'm pretty sure I carved the best cat pumpkin ever. It is no wonder they ended up here.

4. "hippie pumpkins"

When I carved a hippie themed pumpkin trio with my nanny girls it was completely unintentional. I'm wondering what sort of hippie pumpkins someone was looking for other than the requisite peace sign.

5. "who wears shakuhachi"

Turns out shakuhachi is a Japanese flute. Not something you wear. Or something I even knew about until about 30 seconds ago.

6. "how to make potato pillows"

You'd be surprised (or maybe you wouldn't) at how many people find this site by searching for potato pillows. And how many ways there are to spell pillow.

7. "it was 11pm"

I...what?

Because there are starving kids in Africa?

For some reason staying up late makes me feel hungover. Even when all I've drank is orange juice. I woke up this morning exhausted and parched. Which is a really bad combination. Half of you wants nothing more than to stay in bed for as long as possible and the other half is desperately crying out for hydration.

I chose bed.

When I finally got up I threw on clothes, brushed my teeth, and left for work. By the time I got to work I thought I was going to dry up and die so my first priority was water. My boss keeps cold water in a pitcher in her fridge. She also labels everything she puts in the fridge. So there are tupperware that say "BBQ chicken" or "french potatoes 10/18."

Or this:

Pickle Butt

The other night I had a friend over and we decided we wanted to watch a movie. Only it was 11pm and we couldn't rent the movie we wanted so we decided to drive over to his place because he owns it.

Well, turns out he doesn't own it. Or he lost it or lent it out but we picked another movie and went back to my place.

It was late and I'm not really sure why but as soon as we walked into my apartment I greeted Javier with "Hi Pickle Butt!"

This sent both of us into fits of giggles and the whole rest of the night, and the next three days, were spent fitting "pickle butt" into any and all conversation.

Just another nickname to add to the always growing list.

My most favorite thing this week.

It's So Amazing!

So, a few weeks ago I went to look at a couple cookbooks I keep on my kitchen counter. When I picked them up all the pages were stuck together. I'm not really sure how this happened since if anything spilled I would have wiped it up but, regardless, the books were no longer functional. I really really love these super simple books so I wanted to replace them.

This was no problem, I found both the books I wanted through the website of a local bookstore as well as a book on curries. So I ordered the books for in store pickup and paid for them online.

Then I got these suggestions for other books I may enjoy as well.



All of a sudden I'm a bit wary of these cookbooks...

The Elephant in the Room

So part of my job is to check my boss' email. Most of the time if it's a joke or a chain letter I just delete it since neither my boss nor myself really have time for all that nonsense. The other day though was different. She got an email with the subject line "why teachers drink." I was intrigued.

I opened the email and it turned out it was a bunch of photographs of kids' answers on tests, homework, quizzes, etc. Most of them are things you've probably seen before or really weren't that clever despite the fact that the person doing the answering surely thought they were. There was one though that stuck out. One that continues to make me laugh every time I look at it.




I definitely would have given that kid full credit.