Yesterday I was dying of a headache disease, otherwise known as a migraine, so I had to (again) put off photos.
Day nine is supposed to be a photo of someone who has gotten you through the most and I hate to sound...however I'm sure this makes me sound, but I think the person who has gotten me through the most is myself. Since I was 18 I've entirely supported myself. I've had friends and others who helped me during hard times but I haven't had anyone else to pay my bills or buy me a car or let me come home when I couldn't afford rent or who paid off my credit card. And I know that finances aren't probably what this was supposed to address but I feel that when you're able to provide for yourself financially you've achieved much more than that. I've never had someone that explained paperwork for me or helped me with my taxes or made big purchases with me. And yeah, I've paid too much for a car repair, I've not been able to go do things with friends because I couldn't afford it, and I've been nauseatingly nervous before signing paperwork with wonder over whether I was doing this correctly but I'm also thankful for all those lessons and that I feel confident and capable without relying on others. It makes me feel good to know I can take care of myself. Of course there have been times I've thought it would be nice to be able to be a bit more carefree and make some bigger mistakes knowing there's someone to bail me out if needed but also, as I leave my early twenties and enter my mid-late twenties and I see people around me with their parents still paying their bills or getting them out of tough positions they've gotten themselves into, and it makes me really happy to be doing well on my own and to not have to worry about transitioning into truly standing on my own two feet at 26, or worse, later. I feel good to be through that phase.
Day ten is supposed to be a photo of someone you see yourself marrying in the future. Which is pretty stupid so I'm not doing that. I will say that I see myself marrying someone who doesn't believe in traditional gender roles, someone who at least feigns interest in the things I'm passionate about, someone with different interests than my own, someone who will allow me to cook every night and knows the value in waiting until 10pm if needed to eat the most amazing food, someone who's willing to try new things, and someone who is okay with me having my own private place away from the one we share. Also someone who doesn't comment on what's going on in my closet because I seriously don't need someone asking why I have eight pairs of black heels.